This Place Have Scorpion Bowl and Taser!

The Grand Buffet. Amherst Street. Nashua, NH.

This is a place familiar to many of us. It holds memories for us, some sweet, some a bit foggy, others somewhat violent. Either way, "we've all got stories." I have one to end all stories (truly to end, seeing as it was requested by the Nashua PD that myself and a few others never go back there). It was Friday, August 10th and it was supposed to be a nice little get together at the buffet to celebrate the 23rd birthday of FJ. I sat at my house drinking beers, waiting for Hambone to come pick me up. I talked to him, realized he was still going to be a while, so I set out on a journey. I decided to be the first, from my group, to walk from home to buffet (or buffet to home). It took about 25 minutes, and it was completely worth it in the end.

I arrived at the buffet to find FJ, Domn8rx, and a few others. Minutes later, Hambone, accompanied by Sherm and Ozzy arrived at the buffet. To those who don't know Sherm, he is a great guy, but gets somewhat belligerant when out on the town drinking. Needless to say, drinks and karaoke ensued. While many prefer to drink socially, Sherm and I were more drinking at a competitive pace. We indulged in our fair share of Mai Thai's, he rocked a Scorpion Bowl, I grabbed a Tom Collins, the usual. The night proceeded and we made our presence felt in the buffet. While this part of the night is a bit foggy, I remember some broad on stage singing some shitty song. That's when my boy Sherm jumped on stage and began singing along with her. From there, an off duty karaoke DJ known to many as DJ Dougie came over and escorted Sherm from the stage. That's when shit got interesting.

I Saw Dougie and Sherm exchanging words so I began to walk over. Sherm then put his hands up and began walking backwards. The situation escalated quickly and I followed them out the door. A large 6'7" man known worldwide as "Unit" came up beside me and informed me "that guy is holding a taser to your boy's stomach." I walk out the door, whip out the cell phone, and dial 9-1-1. Looking back on it, maybe calling the police wasn't the best idea, but I hate scumbags and I wanted that guy to go to fucking jail. The next part of the story pisses me off so I will summarize. The 2 cops showed up, "investigated" the situation, and decided that since Dougie is an employee and he felt threatened by a big group that it was OK for him to pull out the taser. FUCK THAT. He was off duty, he was drunk, and he was trying to intimidate someone who could clearly beat the shit out of him when there are no tasers involved. The rest of the night consisted of talking about how hot the female cop was and harassing the 7-11 employee by trying to purchase beer at 1:30 AM and pretending to not understand what he was saying.

In conclusion, do not go to Grand Buffet. DJ Dougie is a scumbag and I hope that fuckin place goes under.

To the Yee Dynasty it is...

- K-Rock -


(Official Statement from the Revue: We are deeply saddened by the events described above. After much consideration and in light of this, The Revue has decided to no longer be the house band at the Grand Buffet. We, as a band, have been discussing this over the past couple months after declining appreciation for our talents and lack of songs. However, what happened to K-Rock has proven to be the final straw. To our fans, please don't see this as the end of the brightest era in musical history, but more of a chance to go to Manchester and hang out with hotter girls and drink cheaper booze. Thank you to all of our supporters, wamp wamp. -The Revue)