Fridge and R Von D On Golden Pond: Day One

“Go North Young Men”

Yesterday at noon, the Fridge and I embarked upon one of our most ambitious undertakings to date. We were to spend an extended weekend together at New Hampshire’s on Weirs Beach. A hotbed of high society and intellectual curiosity, we were to take Laconia and Lake Winnipesauke by storm and forever leave our mark on New Hampshire’s lakes region.

Before we set out, Fridge demanded that I meet him at Market Basket in Nashua which as he put it “is the Hall of Fame of obscure, cheap, and delicious beers.” We left the supermarket with a case of Busch Light, a twelve pack of Miller Chill longnecks, Market Basket brand “butter flavored popcorn,” and a small bag of snack mix. Somehow, I convinced Brian that we could nourish ourselves on nothing but beer and snack foods for more than two days. Although he was skeptical, we left the store with said items and headed to Burger King for a meal. I took in a triple stacker meal and a butterfinger pie while Fridge opted for the triple whopper meal. I later had to listen to him talk about the constant incorrect feeling coming from his innards.

Post BK, the Fridge and I set out to the lake. Upon arriving, we proceeded to drink all of our Miller Chill within the first hour and even cracked several of the Busch Lights. With a stiff buzz in our heads, we then headed to the indoor swimming facility that our condo had to offer which featured two water slides, and a thirty person hot tub the amenities workers referred to as the “Roman Spa.” Being a classicist by trade, I was always apprehensive of the name given to this hot tub. My feelings were then exacerbated by the fact that Fridge and I would be spending the entire evening alone with each other (insert Brokeback and Harry and Lloyd jokes here).

Hungry after our swimming and drinking, Fridge proposed that we drive further north to Plymouth to experience an establishment known to the townspeople as “Bad Dawgs.” Fridge then informed me that mutual friends Dom and Hambone were members of the Bad Dawgs Hall of Fame for consuming 15 and 12 hot dogs respectfully in a one hour sitting. Upon arriving at Bad Dawgs, Fridge called K-Rock, who is conspicuously missing from this trip to maintain his sobriety, to tell him that we had arrived at his favorite eating establishment, and even though he was full of hot, stinky jealousy, K-Rock was still able to recommend the “Boarder Collie Dog,” and the “Chow Chow”. A thousand calories heavier, we drove back to Laconia.

(Sidenote: While eating at Bad Dawgs, we found out that Hambone was dethroned as third place “mighty dawg” after he was dethroned by a girl, and we sincerely hope he got the news of this by reading this very sentence.)

The evening continued with extensive recon work of the surrounding area, and we successfully mapped out our nightlife experience for the rest of the weekend. When that was over with, we retreated to Fort Brokeback for a viewing of “Artie Lang’s Beer League” and more Busch Light. At 9:30 PM Fridge and I set out to experience Laconia night life. After much debate as to whether or not to approach the “cougars” at swanky hot-spot The Nasbar, we ended up at a bar called “Goodfellas” which featured what is now considered to be the greatest karaoke set-up we have ever seen. It was not long after that that Fridge and I took the Karaoke Revue to the stage for what many believe to be the greatest cover of “Rebel Yell” by Billy Idol in the North America (and a close second to Finland’s own H.I.M. for WORLD dominance in said category). More cocktails and more karaoke flowed. As Fridge and I got in the car to head home, we both agreed that we, once again, were the highlight of everybody else’s night.

This concludes the rundown of Operation: Take the Lake – Day One. Stay tuned fore a complete rundown of Day Two to come.

With Sunscreen,

Fridge y R Von Dizzle