Aaron Wilkins is an interesting person. Interesting enough that I hate him. If I had the chance to drive a Delorean 88 mph, I legitimately would go back in time and give his parents money for an abortion. The following are specific reasons that I hate him.
1. No one knows what Hambone means. I mean we know it's from a Will Ferrell skit on SNL, but you don't even know what it means. Snoozebone, Fall Out Bone, hahahaahahahh THATS NOT FUNNY.
2. Facebook says Favorite Bands. Not every single band you've ever heard of. Hambiggity lists every single band known to man as his favorite. See the following:
Favorite Music:
it dies today, unearth, hatebreed, lamb of god, fall out boy, senses fail, remembering never, atreyu, slipknot, metallica, as i lay dying, brand new, machine head, the acacia strain, the offspring, green day, bleeding through, soulfly, limp bizkit, on broken wings, killswitch engage, underoath, dave matthews band, incubus, prodigy, alice in chains, blink 182, red hot chili peppers, stone temple pilots, cypress hill, kottenmouth kings, our lady peace, mudvayne, swollen members, the eagles, AC/DC, 311, chimaira, eminem, eric clapton, fear factory, flaw, thrice, system of a down, sublime, soundgarden, pink floyd, rage against the machine, guns n' roses, nonpoint, pearl jam, senses fail, chiodos, underoath, alexisonfire, parkway drive, taking back sunday, mc chris, august burns red
We get it, asshole, you like music.
2. He named a party on facebook after himself. Wilkapalooza 2007, can't wait, you dick.
3. He laughs too obnoxiously at jokes made at my expense.
Fridge: "Go catch, Hambone, you're not up to bat anytime soon..."
R Von D: "Didn't you make last out, you fat prick?
Hambone: "bwahawhhahahhahawhwhhahwahhwahhawhahhahahah"
4. Broken Record. Never stops speaking the same goddamned movie/Family Guy lines every time I sees him.
Ex: "Buttscratchaaaah? Buttscratchah."
5. Wore a Raiders Randy Moss jersey in public. We all know you got it at Marshall's. Ass.
6. You copied me and did a month of detox.
7. Hambone makes sure everyone in New Hampshire knows that he is going to buy a beer. "Hey guys, anybody need beers? Cause I'm going to grab a 30." Shutup.
8. You got pushed down a hill by King Drunk K-Rock, hit his head on a goddamned house, and went to the hospital, again copying me.
Bottom line is this, I love you Aaron, but I fucking hate everything about you.
Kisses,
Fridge
We get it, asshole, you like music.
2. He named a party on facebook after himself. Wilkapalooza 2007, can't wait, you dick.
3. He laughs too obnoxiously at jokes made at my expense.
Fridge: "Go catch, Hambone, you're not up to bat anytime soon..."
R Von D: "Didn't you make last out, you fat prick?
Hambone: "bwahawhhahahhahawhwhhahwahhwahhawhahhahahah"
4. Broken Record. Never stops speaking the same goddamned movie/Family Guy lines every time I sees him.
Ex: "Buttscratchaaaah? Buttscratchah."
5. Wore a Raiders Randy Moss jersey in public. We all know you got it at Marshall's. Ass.
6. You copied me and did a month of detox.
7. Hambone makes sure everyone in New Hampshire knows that he is going to buy a beer. "Hey guys, anybody need beers? Cause I'm going to grab a 30." Shutup.
8. You got pushed down a hill by King Drunk K-Rock, hit his head on a goddamned house, and went to the hospital, again copying me.
Bottom line is this, I love you Aaron, but I fucking hate everything about you.
Kisses,
Fridge
1 comment:
I don't know whether to feel honored that you hate me so much you wrote about it, or that I had to hear about this from your brother. I am hurt. Hurt in a place I thought only girls could hurt me. I hope you're happy.
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