Disclaimer: This blog has grown out of the recent frustrations of male colleagues of mine. Personally, I have little interest in pursuing serious relationships right now. So, this letter is intended to benefit those who have let their aggravations be known to me very recently.
To whom it may concern,
Ladies, it is high time that somebody set you straight. For too long have I heard you complain about the wrong type of guy, the type who is only "out for one thing." I am not going to sit here and pretend that men and women all have the same basic needs and you should just give in to your more animal instincts. I am not going to tell you that there are nice guys in the world who you need to pay attention to. I am, however, going to tell you that what you see is more often than not the wrong thing.
Pretend for a second that the guy you see at the end of the bar, the guy you just scammed out of a free drink does not simply want to bang you. Pretend that guy, who just dropped about ten bucks on whatever mixed drink you and your friend are holding is simply trying to meet new people. Is that so hard to believe? Sure, some of you women are thinking how many times the free drink scam has burned you, some of you are scowling at even letting some random buy you a drink. Please realize that men are people. Let me point out some simple truths to you once and for all.
1) YOU ARE NOT THAT GOOD LOOKING:
While some of you ladies are beautiful creatures, it is HIGHLY egotistical and irresponsible of you to think that every guy who buys you a drink or attempts to talk to you wants to have sex with you. God forbid anybody try to get to know you without you constantly having you think they're out for your berry-patch. Sit down, introduce yourself, ask the guy what his name is...shake his hand.
2) BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IT TAKES BALLS TO EVEN APPROACH YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE:
Here's the thing...most guys get really nervous before talking to girls. The ones who don't are either liars or idiots. No guy enjoys being shot down. No guy likes to have whatever friend you bring with you tell him that "we came here together, and we're leaving together." That makes him look bad and you look even worse.
3) ALCOHOL IS A SOCIAL LUBRICANT. NOT A WAY TO GET IN YOUR PANTS:
Granted, alcohol loosens inhibitions and makes people do some stupid shit, but think about it. If people in their twenties met at pizza places instead of bars, you can put your money on the fact that if a guy wanted to talk to you in that situation, he'd buy you a slice. If people our age decided to congregate at driving ranges, a good way to break the ice might be to pick up the tab on a bucket of balls. It's what you're there for, and if a guy has enough interest in you to pay attention to what you're drinking, that should count for something.
4)IF YOU GO TO A BAR WITH THE "I DON'T NEED MONEY, I'LL HAVE GUYS BUY ME DRINKS ALL NIGHT," YOU DESERVE THE DICKHEADS:
A lot of this is covered in point one, but let's discuss this a bit further. Aside from this being egotistical and irresponsible, it's just rude. Guys who are in bars most of the time work for their money, and work hard for it. You showing up with your friends to scam them out of their paychecks is stealing. Conning men into thinking that you're interested in them just to get a couple Sex on the Beaches for you and your friends is criminal and you should be ashamed of yourselves. The guy with the blowout will most surely buy you as many drinks as you want...but good luck with that.
5) IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED, SAY IT NICELY, BUT DON'T TAKE THE DRINK EITHER.
Believe it or not, there are ways to do this without making us look stupid. If a guy offers to buy you a drink, and he's not exactly your cup of tea, politely decline. That will send the same message as taking the drink off the bar and turning your back. Even if you have to use the old "No...really" we'll pick up on it.
In closing I will say for myself, my brother, my friends, and for every single guy out there that we are not the simple creatures you take us for. There was a time where women wanted to be valued and taken seriously, and for the most part you have gotten your wish. The number of successful women in the workplace and elsewhere continues to grow. It is about time you extended the same courtesy. Everybody who will have access to this blog is in their 20s, an age where we as newly ordained adults must start looking for our potential life-partners, the person with which we will raise a family, share happiness and sadness, and God willing see old age with. Ladies, please understand that these things are important to all guys who are worth a damn. Ask any guy whether or not he'd rather experience a lifetime of joy with one woman or mixed success with various women and the answer will more often than not be the one you'd hope for. Unless you're out to prove me and this entire thing wrong, then you can just go to hell. Finally I will tell you that relationships are like anything else, you get out of it exactly what you put into it. Simple Newtonian law. It is a simple philosophical and physical truth that everything in the universe has an exact equal and opposite response. If you approach that handsome fellow at the bar thinking that he will fail, he will fail. If you are open-minded and willing to take a chance on meeting a new person, it is my guess that you will be pleasantly surprised if you simply take the initiative to not turn every guy in the bar into some self-fulfilling prophecy of rejection. Also, if you were to ask the guy a series of questions, you can rest assured you'd find out rather quickly if he was an asshole or not. And so, lady visitors of the Pen15 Blog, I leave it to you to find some good in the man at the end of the bar who is looking for somebody to talk to. Chivalry is very much alive. Get your heads out of your asses. Now how 'bout that drink?
iRule,
R Von D
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