Monday, January 5, 2009

2009: The Year of Von D

So I quit my job.













There that is. As you may or may not know I left my teaching position to come to Boston (Waltham) in search of money and women. The latter is taken care of, the former is very much not. And so, I have taken another position in the world of personal finance, vowing never again to venture into the world of retail advertising sales. Sure, that sounds really cool, and sure I got some free dinners out of that job, but at the end of the day, everybody in that profession stinks.

I've also gotten fat.

There has been much said in this blog about my height and weight. So much so that it has finally vaulted me into action. No longer will I take heat from my friends as they reminisce about what I used to look like, how I used to be active, and how I used to be able to beat people up. I will contest the third thing until the day I die (probably in a fist fight with a close friend), but you have to wonder about two out of three of those things.

It is also a new year. And since my pathetic planets seem to be in complete alignment, it is now time to act: 2009 is officially the year of Von D. Now what that means for you, dear reader is that you now have a front row seat to the greatest transformation of all time, slightly edging out the first time Optimus Prime was on screen in "Transformers." I have taken the necessary steps to get myself into better positions financially, physically, and emotionally so it's time for me to rock and roll.

I will not share with you my income, for that is rude and dumb, but I will share with you with as much specificity as possible, my weight fluctuation during this entire 90 day endeavor. Why 90 days you ask? Well, because the Duchess was good enough to burn me copies of P90X, and true to it's name, it takes 90 days...retard. I will also be keeping a food log the entire time, so I can tell you what I eat during the week. Overkill? Maybe. Self-indulgent? Definitely. But this is my blog and I do what I want with it. And I'm on a "Weekly Update" kick these days, so just be happy that this thing is still getting updated as The Fridge, K-Rock, Dana Complaina, and the C have much better things to do...so they say.

Starting Weight/Current Weight: 237 lbs
Target Weight: 195 lbs

Now, I would say that 99% of the people who read this know me and think that there is about a snowball's chance in hell that I will complete this task. But think about what has happened in the past couple of months: We have our first black president of the United States, my beloved Bruins are in first place, the 11-5 Patriots did NOT make the playoffs, and the list could go on...stranger shit has in fact happened.

I'll see you all on the other side. God help us all.

Still fat,
R Von D

1 comment:

Greg said...

Get after it dude.