Friday, January 29, 2010

The Greatest Photobomb of all Time Feat. Fridge

Fridge showed me this today and I almost spit coffee all over my monitor. I don't think anybody in the world is blessed with the gift to photobomb a picture like this.

BEHOLD!




Unreal

RVD

Thursday, January 28, 2010

OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG!!!

TWO THINGS:

1) I demand that somebody buy me each of these pairs of Adidas Originals (Link below video)

2) If you don't want to buy me sneakers, you can buy me a Daft Punk helmet, because those guys are cool.



http://www.starwars.com/vault/collecting/news20091208/

May the force be with you,
D

Hey Asia, WTF?!

I'm an American, I think that in our time writing on this site, we have made that perfectly clear. And since I was born a United States citizen, I have a few inherited characteristics. I am good at eating food, playing video games, and beating people up.

Many of you have read my expose on the oddities of Indian culture (dots, not feathers), and I wanted to follow that up with a journey to the far east. Like I said, being an American comes with certain traits, but for the life of me, I can't figure Asian people out. Whether Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, or anything else, it never ceases to amaze me how good these people are at the most useless things. Takeru Kobayashi ate 17.7 pounds of cow brains in 15 minutes. Who the hell would even think to attempt something like that. There was a kid I taught when I was teaching at a summer school who couldn't speak a word of english but could do the most miraculous things with a bic pen. Here are some more examples on just how asinine these talents are. Just watch these and think of the amount of practice any of this shit took, and how much time you could save by simply not doing them. Having said that, I know that typically Asians are much more efficient than us Americans, and probably mastered these skills in 1/3 the time it would take me, but that's still way too much.

5. Contact Juggling: All I picture is how cool I thought David Bowie was in the movie "Labyrinth" only to find out that he wasn't ACTUALLY doing this. Unreal.


4. Beatboxing: Here I am thinking this is as American as apple pie. Little did I know some Japanese kid named Daichi comes along and does something like this. Whatever to this kid. I bet he sucks at football.


3. Folding Laundry: Come on...


2. Getting undressed: I actually did this the first time my fiancee asked if I wanted to have sex. She wasn't impressed, but then again I'm not Asian.


1. Whatever the hell this is: Again, this serves no purpose whatsoever but I want to learn how to do it. Also, I just want to have a slew of Asian girls follow me around just so when I do stupid stuff they can giggle like the girls in this video.

Asian Chick's Awesome Hand Ninja - Watch more Funny Videos


Fuckin' people,
R Von D

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Just When I Though The Internet Was Starting To Bore Me...

...You give me this. Well played, Cyberspace, well played.

As many of you know, I have a softspot in my heart for certain things. Here is an unfinished list of all the things I love in this world.

- Fat People in ill-fitting sweatsuits
- Male camel toe
- Lisps
- Epic Rat Tails
- Samurai philosophy and culture

So what did I come across today? Something so beautiful, so inspiring, so genuinely mesmerizing, that I sat in my cube and wept at the sight. It is my priviledge, as well as my distinct honor to present to you...Phillip.



Peace in yo' crease,

RVonD

Monday, January 11, 2010

HOLY EFFING ESS!

Thanks for giving your brains to our country, lads.


Epic Wheel Of Fortune Fail - Watch more Funny Videos

Monday, December 21, 2009

R Von D's Top 5 Albums In His High School Collection

If you saw my facebook post today, you would have seen that I did some driving today, about 4 hours when said and done, and while I didn't have anybody with me, I just so happened to have my CD case from high school on board. To be honest, I have not had that much fun in a car since...well, don't worry about that. But along the way, I began to think of what I would pick, TODAY, as the best albums in that collection. And here is what I've come up with:


5. "Grace" - Jeff Buckley

High Point: "Last Goodbye," "Lover, You Should Have Come Over," "Grace"

Low Point: "Lilac Wine"

Consensus: This would have been higher on the list, but the "Nirvana Complex" creeped into my head. Would this album be AS GOOD today if Jeff Buckley were still alive? And I came to the consensus that it would be an 8 out of 10. Really good, but not something I would play for my kids. Still, from front to back this is a SOLID album from a truly gifted talent.


4. "Toxicity" - System of a Down

High Point: "Aerials"

Low Point: "Pogo"

Consensus: This came out in my senior year in high school. Admittedly, I didn't really "get" this band until that point. So much so that my roommate in school, Rich, would play the song "Spiders" by SOAD just to annoy me. It wasn't until this album though that I finally got it. With Rick Rubin at the helm, this album is like a goddamn hammer to the face from the very first note in "Prison Song." As for the low point, "Pogo" is just one of those songs where you wish they didn't write it. I'm sure the pogo stick in the song is a metaphor for something, but I never had any interest in finding out what it was. But in the end, the entire album culminates with "Aerials," which I consider to be the bands best song. Think of any fight scene in a Zack Snyder movie: It's incredibly brutal, but the slow motion, then fast, then slow, almost make it something beautiful to watch. That's what this song is like, brutal and beautiful all at the same time. I seriously can't listen to it just once, I always feel like I missed something awesome while listening to something else in the same song. If I ever have the chance to choreograph a fight scene in a movie, it would be set to "Aerials" ...seriously how kick-ass would that be?

3. "S.C.I.E.N.C.E." - Incubus

High Point: "Idiot Box" "Summer Romance (Anti-Gravity Love Song)"

Low Point: "The Magic Medicine"

Consensus: Sure, I think "Morning View" is the band's crowning achievement, but A) That came out when I was in college, and B) This was the bands last "hard" album so to speak, which I miss out of them. I would say that the strength of this album comes when the band sticks to it's nature and merely plays that funk/rock thing they have all but forgotten how to do in today's world. Where it falls flat is when they get trapped in the rap/metal bullshit that killed so many other bands. I never really saw them as that type of band, and you shouldn't either. And that's probably a reason they fired DJ Lyfe after this one because who wants children's books dubbed over drum loops? That shit is stupid, and not the good "stoopid" like black people say.

2. "Traveling Without Moving" - Jamiroquai

High Point: "Alright"

Low Point: "Didjerama" "Didjital Vibrations"

Consensus: I damn near wore this album out in my jeep and it still holds up for me today. I can't begin to tell you how happy this album makes me. And, this is a bit of a stretch because it's not ACTUALLY in my actual collection, for it was stolen. BUT, I have the rest of the band's records and this one happens to be my favorite. Forget for a second that "Virtual Insanity" was on this album and it STILL kicks ass. A girl I really should have dated in high school wrote the lyrics to "Alright," knowing I was a huge fan, as a love note to me and I didn't do anything about it...shame on me. The only pitfall of any Jamiroquai album though is that frontman Jay Kay always seems to get a little self-indulgent at times (so much so in fact that bassist Stuart Zender sighted it as a reason he left the band after this album). On this album, it's the two back-to-back didjeridoo solo tracks that really doesn't fit in anywhere. Oh well, skip those and enjoy the funk.

1. "OK Computer" - Radiohead

Low Point: "The Tourist"

High Point: The whole album

Consenus: My parents talk all the time about the first time they heard/saw the Beatles and how crazy it was. I remember vividly the first time I head this Radiohead album. The story goes I was reading a Rolling Stone article where artists picked their favorite albums of the year. And Dave Matthews, of all people, picked this as his favorite album of the year. Sadly, DMB was my favorite group of the time, so I figured if "DAVE!!" liked it, I might give it a shot. I remember getting in the car, putting it on, and really not understanding what I was hearing. My brother made me turn it off and put on Sublime or some nonsense arguing with me that this was not the same band that did "Creep." But at home, I decided I would give it another go, so I put it in my personal CD player with some high-quality headphones. THAT, my dear reader, is when I got it. If you don't have this album, or haven't listened to it in ten years, I recommend that you do so immediately. I'm older and wiser now, and this album is even better than it was when I was 16. Oh, and the only reason "The Tourist" is the low point of the album is because it's the last song.


So that's it. The albums I spent listening to in high school still, for the most part, hold up today which again proves my point that I have better musical taste than 99% of you people. Oh, and if you dare tell me that "Pinkerton" by Weezer should be on this list or any other nonsense like Blink-182, I hate you. People like "Pinkerton" because it's like a little secret Weezer fans pride themselves on knowing about and pop-punk Blink-182, despite having Travis Barker in the band, is for dipshits.

Peacefrogs!

R Von D

Monday, December 7, 2009

RVonD Internet Picks of the Week: Hip-Hop Edition

Without inundating you with too much background information, I'll just say that there isn't anything better in my mind than somebody who tries to rap and simply sucks at it. Here are some clips from around the web.

Boostalk:
The video stinks, but all I wanna know is what kind of shenanigans did he have to pull to get that girl to agree to be in the video:


Eli Porter:
This kid is a legend, absolute gold.


Simply titled "Worst Rap Battle Ever":
AND HOW!! ...and you're gay.


Bangs - "Take You To Da Movies":
This is great, I didn't know one could roll their Rs whilst saying the word "Shorty." Big up, Sudan!


Shane Lee Beatboxing:
I don't see Rahzel or Scratch from the Roots spitting all over themselves this badly. Love it though.