Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Your Kid Doesn't Need Adderall, He Needs His Ass Kicked

An apology in advance:

This is going to sound a little preachy.

In my line of work, the required summer reading can be a little tedious. I just read something having to do with how we teach today's child, and what approaches successful teachers take in order to ensure that all of their students receive the same level of experience. Totally unfeasible and not realistic. Then they make me read this piece of garbage called "Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men." Long title right? Well this is broken down into chapters that my idiot male mind can easily comprehend. Here are the factors for you.

1. The Change in Education Itself

2. Characteristics of Modern Life

3. Video games.

4. Medications

5. what this dipshit calls "The Revenge of the Forsaken Gods" aka boys aren't becoming men because they have no real men to look up to.

So instead of what I would usually do and go through these one by one, I will make kind of my blanket sentiment for all of these things. Ready? Here you go: Boys are pussies today because they are raised by pussies. Boys have no sense of responsibility because they have no consequences and no idea what duty is. I was sitting with my buddy Gregoire the other night and we were talking about this twitter personality he follows. We had some good laughs at the person's twitter handle "PeanutFreeMom" and I even laughed out loud at some of the purposefully passive-aggressive nonsense that this person was spewing. Here's an example:
 
Caleb's soccer game ended in a tie. Thank goodness. Self esteem is extremely important in his 'formative years'.

Now I know what funny is, and that's pretty funny, but in the back of my mind it occurred to me that I find this funny because I know these fucking people, and they are EVERYWHERE. As a teacher, I know this is the case. In my head, people have become so backwardly offensive that I am at my wits end. And I'm saying this because I know I'm going to have to go to work tomorrow and discuss this book with a bunch of bleeding heart teachers who, God bless them, really mean well but coddle this goddamn kids so much they never think they do anything wrong. There are differences between people, some are better at school, some are better at sports, some are meant for a life of white-collar crime, and some kids are just going to get arrested slipping a mickey into girls drinks at a bar. What I'm saying is what Judge Smails said in Caddyshack: "The world needs ditch diggers too." Get over it, you raised a shitty kid. Which brings me to my second point:

Video games are not the issue. Plain and simple. GIVING the kid a video game just because he wants it is the issue. Television is not the issue. LETTING your kid sit inside and watch hours of television is the problem. Laziness is only a problem when it's allowed. And I'm not saying to go the other way like some other parents, signing your kid up for so many commitments that he can't make a single one without being late or burned out. I'm all for rewarding children, but rewarding them because they earned it, not to shut them up.

Let me take a break for a second. I know what you're thinking right now: This is easy for you to say, you don't have any kids. Well let me tell you this, dear reader. As a high school teacher, adviser, and coach I spend more time with the kids than 70% of the parents do on a weekly basis. That's a goddamn fact. Do the math. If I see your kid from 7:30 am until 6:30 pm five days a week, that's a grand total of 55 hours. Say the kid gets home at 7:00, goes to bed at 10:00, then gets up at 7:00am, that's a whopping 17.5 hours you've spent with your kid. You got a lot of work to do if you want to catch up to me on the weekend. And no, I'm not exaggerating my hours here. Bottom line is this: buying your kids off so they don't complain to you is not parenting. Do a better job. Make your kids earn their money and whatever good things they want. They will be more resilient in the long run and be more appreciative for the things they have. Oh yeah, to hammer it home even further, there are at least two kids in my school's lower school (K-4) that have iPhones. Seen it with my own eyes.

Here's another question. Who is the last person you've seen on television that is incredibly wealthy, successful, well-adjusted, and has some sort of talent? More that 90% of the young people emulate absolute cunts who have endless amounts of money and fame just by being cunts. Why would a kid think he needs to work hard for anything? All they have to do is either binge drink, do a lot of drugs, get hit in the balls with something, have zero accountability for anything they do, and just repeat that until they are dead or nobody cares anymore. I have just given you a synopsis of every single goddamn thing MTV programming brings to the table.

I'm sorry again for getting on my high horse here, but this is something I'm passionate enough to care about. I literally see this every single day I'm around kids. We should all be ashamed of ourselves for letting things get this bad. And truth be told, I just needed to get this out of my system before the "book club" meeting tomorrow where I would have totally blown my stack at somebody who wanted to talk about plastic, the president, the economy, dodge ball, vaccinations, and whatever else they can blame their shitty kids on. Last thought: Kids today have an inflated sense of entitlement for one reason: They have nothing to be afraid of. When I was growing up, I was scared to death of my parents. I knew if I fucked up, my mother was going to let me know what I did wrong, and ask me how I was planning on righting my wrong. That, or my father was going to kick the shit out of me. I don't know what I was more scared of, but believe this: I was scared of something. I owed it to my parents to be the person they wanted me to be. In hindsight, they did everything for me, and I had a duty to my family to be the best person I could be. Last thing I ever wanted was for people to look at me and, because of my actions, take the piss out of my family, my school, my team, or my friends. I realized from a very young age that my actions had consequences, good and bad, and I had to own up to whichever came my way. I wasn't scared that I might die, I was scared of living with the wrong I did. And most of the time that is worse. Teach your fucking kids some accountability and let them fight their own battles, you morons.

Okay I'm done now, I got it out of my system.

Oh yeah, and I think this blog is as high and mighty as it is because I have grown an epic gunslinger mustache and am full of piss and vinegar lately.

You're all on notice,

Von D